 Every day I give thanks to the Goddess: I have two mounds upon my bodice, I shave my legs, I sit down to pee, I can justify any shopping spree. Not to a barber, but a beauty salon. Can get a massage without a hard on, Can balance the checkbook, pump my own gas, Can talk to my friends about the size of my a$$.  I always save money by using coupons. Can admit to others when I am wrong. Don't drive in circles at any cost, So I don't have to admit when I am lost. I don't act like I'm in a timed marathon, Every time I go to the john.  Listen to me boys, Those things in your pants that you treat as toys, You love them more then we ever will. I spend two hours preparing for a date, Only to find you're two hours late. I don't watch movies with lots of gore. Don't need instant replay to remember the... score. I won't lose my hair. I don't get jock itch. And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a Witch. I don't wear the same underwear every day, The food in my fridge has no sign of decay. I don't go to Sears To look at the tools. I don't cheat at poker, I follow the rules.  I don't smoke cigars. Don't pay for drinks at bars. I don't punch my friends just to say "Hi." And it's okay for me to cry. I know all you men Think that you're "IT," But compared to a woman, Your just a lazy $hi+! |
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