How do you know Santa has to be a man?
No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year!

What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas?
Because they were originally made for children but Dad wants to play with them.

Why does Santa wear red underwear?
Because he's a man - he did all his laundry in one load.

What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?
Claustrophobic!

What do you call a teenager who doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus!

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit!