Christmas Funnies

Christmas Funnies

Why are a lion at the beach and Christmas alike?
Because the lion has Sandy Claws.

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him.

What can Santa give away and still keep?
A cold.

Where do Santa's reindeer like to stop for lunch?
Deery Queen for a Blizzard!

Why do giraffes get Christmas gifts every year?
They are so good that they'll stick their necks out for anyone.

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log.

What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?

How many reindeer does Santa Have?
Eleven... Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen Rudoph (the one with the red nose) Olive (Olive the other reindeer) and Al (Then Al the reindeer loved him)

If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A subordinate claus.

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him.

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle.

JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone, sack time!

What do you call a person who is scared of Santa?

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.

ELF: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What should I do?
SANTA: Use a pen.

What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?

What does Santa say when he gets sick?

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