Top 40 Things Not To Say During Sex

~ Top 40 Things Not To Say During Sex ~

But everybody looks funny naked!
You woke me up for that?
Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
But whipped cream makes me break out.
Person 1: This is your first time... right? Person 2: Yeah... today.

Hurry up! This room rents by the hour!
Do you accept Visa?
So that's why they call you Mr. Flash!
On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
Got any penicillin?

I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
I want a baby!
So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
When is this supposed to feel good?

Did I remember to take my pill?
That leak better be from the waterbed!
I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
No, really... I do this part better myself!
You're almost as good as my ex!

Perhaps you're just out of practice.
You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
Now I know why he/she dumped you...
You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
What tampon?

Have you ever considered liposuction?
And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
Did I mention my transsexual operation?
I really hate women who actually think sex means something!

Did you come yet, dear?
How long do you plan to be ''almost there''?
A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
Does this count as a date?
Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!

Hic! I need another beer for this please.
You can cook, too right?
When would you like to meet my parents?
Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...

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