Casual dating has basically become synonymous with dating in the 21st century. Nothing is ever serious or anything, but a casual fuck buddy. Unless you’ve explicitly sat down and announced to the other that you’re trying to find a serious relationship, it’s almost always assumed that everything is casual.
And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Those of us who are emotional might have a difficult time holding off the emotions when casually banging someone, and those of us who are less emotional might have a difficult time understanding what kind of communication is expected in this kind of arrangement (yes, you do have to communicate with your fuck buddy).
Here are some unspoken rules for having a fuck buddy:
1. Keep it casual
You’re casually dating remember? So, don’t make things anything but casual. This means no dates other than Netflix and Chill (which we all know is just code for sex) or late-night excursions for pre/post-coital snacks.
You should limit your time around one another during the daytime. Sure, you can meet up at a bar, but I don’t recommend going out together (leaving together on the other hand is allowed).
Just don’t act like a couple!
2. Don’t spend the night
While it might be tempting to drift off after a seriously great romp in the sheets, you really should pull yourself out of that bed and go home. Why? Well, odds are if you’re actually sleeping together you’re going to develop some kind of feelings.
Sleeping in the same bed as someone is intimate, it’s like you’re building trust. Plus, too much cuddling might cause some butterflies to flutter up when you should be keeping this extremely causal.
I know it’s difficult but insist that you catch an Uber home or that your partner leave too. Maybe even preface your sex-sesh by saying that you have to get up early or that you need that person to go home so no one falsely assumes the other can spend the night.
3. Don’t pillow talk about feelings
I’m not going to tell you that you can’t participate in any amount of pillow talk, because that can be important to finding out what the other likes and doesn’t like in bed, but I’ll tell you that you should avoid talking about feelings.
If you’re going to talk about your day, don’t expect the other to console you in any other way aside from sexually.
As soon as you expect a certain amount of emotional support from the other is when things go wrong.
4. See other people, be honest about it
While you’re casually fucking someone you should know that you should be seeing other people. You can be seeing these other people in a serious capacity or a casual one, but you do need to let your partner know if you’re banging someone else so they can keep themselves safe sexually.
5. If and when you catch the feels, here’s what to do:
Catching feelings is a hazard that’s hard to avoid. So, I can basically guarantee that you’re going to catch feelings at some point. If you do, be honest. Maybe they’ve caught feelings too, but don’t get your hopes up. Be ready for rejection.
Or you could go the easy route and run away! Run far, far away from the feels!
Sometimes there’s nothing more uncomfortable than a quiet house or walk to work. While there is something to being in silence, but sometimes it can be unsettling. For me, the best solution to uncomfortable silence (other than Spotify) is to put on a podcast.
You could always put the news on the television but that could be stressful. I like to listen to something with a little bit more of a comforting story. Because lets be honest, most news broadcasts are mostly people arguing back and forth senselessly on a topic that would better be discussed calmly.
Here are some of my favorite comedic podcasts that you should definitely give a listen the next time you can’t stand the quiet.
- My Dad Wrote a Porno
I may or may not be listening to this right now…
But honestly, this NSFW podcast is an absolutely hilarious. The name of the podcast is spot on… it’s literally about one of the comedian’s father’s erotica.
Him and his two comedian friends read through his father’s – who they only refer by his pen name, Rocky Flinstone – erotica called Belinda Blinked.
You’ll find yourself cackling outload to such a degree that your neighbors might think that you’re having a mental break.
- Your Mom’s House
If you’ve ever wondered what it’d be like to be a comedian married to another comedian, you must listen to this podcast. Tom Segura and Christina Pazsitzky is are both hilarious on their own, but give these married standup comedians a podcast and you’ll find yourself shook… with laughter.
These two have no qualms talking about their sex life, touching on hilariously terrible topics, and entertaining their devoted fans.
You really ought to check this out if you’re looking to laugh at some seriously depraved humor.
- Anna Faris is Unqualified
You might know Anna Faris as the House Bunny one of the girls from the Scary Movie series or as Chris Pratt’s ex-wife. Either way, you may forget that that this woman is seriously funny.
Her podcast includes discussions with celebrity guests (most of which who usually don’t make it to the usual late night shows or podcasts), rousing games of would-you-rather?, and her answering her listeners’ relationship advice.
If you’re looking to listening to something that feels relatable – as you too might feel “unqualified” – you really ought to check out this podcast!
- Guys We Fucked
I mean… how could you go wrong with a podcast with this name?
In the #MeToo era, co-hosts Krystyna Hutchinson and Corinne fisher set out to start a project where they talked with men they’ve slept with. While it started as two women talking to men they’d fucked, it blossomed into a full-fledged feminist podcast complete with testimonials, confessionals, and discussions with experts.
If you’re looking for some uncensored, R-rated girl power. Give this a listen!
- 2 Dope Queens
Odds are you’ve probably heard from Phoebe Robinson and/or Jessica Williams. These two have risen to comedic fame pretty quickly… but their podcast has topped the charts!
Tune it to hear 2 Dope (and comedic) Queens talk about everything from celebrities to relationships to pop culture! This is definitely worth a listen.